now aaron and the giraffes have parted ways but (thankfully!) both are still playing. last thursday marked the debut of aaron’s latest project, with himself on vox/guitar and mitchell king on drums - DON’T.

to get straight to the point with a band that is clearly about doing just that – i fucking love DON’T. i really do. it’s an incredible feeling to hear music for the first time and be moved by it, so much that you just close your eyes and feel it completely. it’s also incredible to watch just TWO musicians fill a space with their immense sound.

aaron and mitchell are a really intense unit – i honestly feel like nothing else is needed. mitchell is INSANE on that kit (seriously.. wow, man) and aaron brings his bluesy notes and nasty melodies back to ears like ours that have truly missed them. i also appreciate that although the songs are emanating from the same source, DON’T is something different.. the gypsy aesthetic of rumanian buck is replaced with something markedly darker – the sound gets so heavy it almost feels industrial, but the melody is never forsaken – along with the powerful grit and smooth soulfulness in aaron’s voice that will always set him apart.

you can catch the rest of their month-long residency at the grand victory in brooklyn!

roll up @ 8pm:

Thurs Feb 9th: Don’t, Powerblessings, The Evil Us
Thurs Feb 16th: Don’t, bbigpigg, The Whores, Trabajo
Thurs Feb 23rd: Don’t, The Pioneers of Seduction, Cobretti, Beef Wellington

they’ve also got a new website and a facebook – DON’T make me tell you what to do.. (har dee har)

PS!

we’d also like to throw props to aaron for doing something DIFFERENT and sending out actual screenprinted CA$H (chingity ching) as invites to the residency shows.. seriously. we both got this in the mail. you know.. in an envelope. with a handwritten address. delivered by THE POSTMAN.

you’re an asshole if you miss this (and i mean that in the best way possible ;)).

- da leopard

photos by audrey leopard, ca$h money photo via mr. lazar

To experience the magic of TOOL has been on my bucket list ever since the sophomore year of high school. I say “to experience” because this alternative quartet from Los Angeles, California has always been notorious for using impressive visuals during their concerts and emphasizing the importance of the live performance to the overall artistic theme of the band. In simple terms – their show and the mystique surrounding it is an experience that is never the same twice. I had never been a fan of metal, and that is a category that TOOL frequently gets dumped into. However upon listening to their third studio album Lateralus back in 2001 I was struck by how different this haunting music was from anything else I had ever heard before. I became a fan, but I never had the chance to see them for myself until tonight…

February 1st of 2012: TOOL is storming at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey for nearly two whole hours.

First of all I would like to apologize for the lack of authentic footage. Usually the “No Cameras!” notice on the ticket gets treated as a joke, but not this time. The doors to IZOD Center opened up extra early and security drilled each and every single person stepping inside. No cameras, not even the small pocket ones. No drinks from the outside. Nothing dangerous, not even a wallet chain. And absolutely no drugs. Everyone found with any of these has to either throw it out or walk back to their car and leave it there. This is no joke and leaves me disappointed. I was looking forward to snapping quite a few pictures of the lasers and the band submerged within them, but that can’t happen. I guess I’ll have to do it next time, when TOOL come to New York City and security will be less uptight about it.

Inside – overpriced merchandise and overpriced beer. This is another stab, but it is rather expected from a gigantic venue that normally hosts sporting events and thousands of thirsty fans. Remember the prices at New York’s own Madison Square Garden? Everyone agrees it’s a bit too much, but oh well, Budweiser is not why I came here anyways.

The openers Yob, a doom metal band from Eugene, Oregon composed of two bassists and a drummer starts around 7:45pm and plays a short 40-minute set. All I can say is that this collective would probably be a whole lot more impressive in a small venue. I want to hear the details of their heavy droning sound, but lack of good acoustics don’t allow me to. But they are an opening band after all, so the soundboard operator has to make their performance less rather than more. On this particular night Yob is simply not equipped enough for the massive space of IZOD Center, but I do hope to see them perform again in a smaller and more intimate venue.

The break is short. The lines at the beer vendors had now quadrupled in length and width and the floor of the men’s bathroom is stained with blood.

Nobody knows what happened there.

Half an hour passes by. The stage gets cleared from Yob’s equipment and the lights dim.

And there they are.

Danny Carey sits behind the drums, Adam Jones and Justin Chancellor pick up the guitar and the bass respectively, and the short instrumental intro explodes into the first track of the night – “Hooker With a Penis.”

Only then I spot the one who most of the people are here for. The charismatic singer Maynard James Keenan is not a traditional frontman. He’s hidden somewhere in the shadows between Adam Jones and Danny Carey’s drumset. He can not be seen clearly, but he knows every single pair of eyes at IZOD Center is looking at him. He claims that every single live performance of his is a spiritual experience for him and he chooses to concentrate on delivery instead of bathing in the spotlight. He remains in the dark for most of the show making weird gestures and straining his vocal chords. He is heard much more than seen.

“Hooker With a Penis” is followed by “Jambi” from the band’s latest studio effort 10,000 Days, and “Jambi” is followed by the infamous “Stinkfist” – a tune that haunted the MTV playlist in the mid-nineties. This chilling song lasts a lot longer than it does on the record. In fact that can be said about every track TOOL plays tonight. Improvisations and the dynamics these musicians are capable of are impressive to say the least.

With “Stinkfist” the first wave of psychedelic imagery emerges on the backdrop and the side-screens. The images of cold, white faces familiar from the aforementioned video clip color an entire stage, then turn to red. The rippling ribcage known from the cover of TOOL’s debut Undertow emerges as “Stinkfist” is followed by the only track from the debut album – “Sober.”

Where Yob lacked, TOOL overcompensates. The sound is crystal clear, even for such earthshakers as “Pushit” and “Schism,” the latter being the track I was looking forward to the most.

The spotlights turn onto the sea of heads all mesmerized with what’s happening on stage. Only then it occurs to me to look around, and I see the positive aspect of this strict “No Cameras!” policy. Nowadays every concert attendee is glued to the lit screens of his or her camera and forgets to actually live within the moment. This is not the case tonight. With their hands and eyes unoccupied the crowd is actually watching and experiencing, instead of trying to capture that experience.

Whereas TOOL is famous for the psychedelic visuals, their fans are just as infamous for consuming large quantities of mind-altering drugs before, during, and after the gig. But tonight because of the strict security policy there’s significantly less marijuana smoking and mushroom eating, thus explaining those enormous lines at the beer counters. But even without the substances there are just so many impressive props to look at! TOOL did their best planting lasers and smoke machines in the most unexpected places – on the ceiling, by the soundboard, on the sides of the venue, etc.

“Schism” is followed by “Intention” – another tune from 10,000 Days which later bleeds into “Forty-Six & 2” with the giant eyeball circling on the screens. Once the song ends Maynard James Keenan introduces the guest musician – Frank Ferrer of The Psychedelic Furs (and lately of Guns n’ Roses!) who helps the rest of the band with Lateralus. The backdrop parades the imagery of a blinking blue striped head that strangely reminds me of Bart Simpson on Acid. The song ends and the musicians all leave the stage.

What follows the departure of the band is by far the most impressive break before an encore I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The lonely bright white light and the smoke circling around it create the illusion of an eye staring straight at me. It is moving. It is alive. And it is frightening. I even forget this is a break.

The encore is only one song – a long, expanded, and largely improvised version of “Aenema” that lasts for over ten whole minutes and fades into the darkness.

The lights go on. Bon Jovi blasts from IZOD Center speakers.

The show is now over.

No videos or pictures could capture what had just happened in East Rutherford, New Jersey. I admit I had excessively high expectations for TOOL, but those expectations were quickly washed away by the sea of lasers and smoke. I am now on my way home, feeling slightly disoriented from the lights and the sound. TOOL is clearly the rightful carrier of the psychedelic torch, the torch that previously belonged to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. I now understand how important the live performance is for the overall appreciation of TOOL’s art. They are the kind of band that needs to be seen live to fully appreciate what they are about. And I still can’t believe I had a chance to see them. One thing is clear to me already – the next time these psychedelic art metal monsters come around, I will be there.

Ignas Bautrenas is a short story writer and journalist born in Vilnius, Lithuania who currently lives in Astoria, NY. He attended Hunter College from 2004-2009 and graduated with a BA in English. Ignas currently writes for sugarnthunder.com, manomuzika.lt, 15min.lt and other publications.

A Blessay by Michael Stahl

A recent Newsweek article about falling levels of creative aptitude in American children over the course of the past two decades is incredibly alarming if one subscribes to the thought that there is a correlation between a person’s creative ability and their chances of constructing a thriving life of productivity. E. Paul Torrance did and he was dubbed “The Father of Creativity.” Torrance was able to whip up a series of tests that have become the “gold standard in creativity assessment,” which are still used today. Scores have been decreasing, after holding steady for thirty years, which likely comes with little surprise to even the most casual of pop culture observers, who have watched sitcoms dematerialize into reality television and Hollywood produce countless unoriginal movies either based on already-published works of literature or previous films. In the first week of 2012, Jersey Shore unleashed their fifth season on the universe with promises of more “crazy” antics and nine of the top ten grossing films in America are either film versions of another’s written work or a sequel, with the lone exception, The Darkest Hour, having “a flatlining screenplay and [an] absence of even a single compelling character.” (Perhaps the next winter solstice will bring a more favorable “spiritual transformation;” the doom and gloom is already here.) However, a subtler trend has also emerged that further exploits a lack of priority placed on creativity and it lies in the recent advertising campaigns for one of the nation’s most beloved toys: LEGO bricks.

Currently, LEGO heavily promotes their play sets, which come with pieces more intricate than ever before and instructions that are similar to those for IKEA furniture.

The advanced LEGO technology has made it difficult for children to create their own unique toys because the pieces included in the sets are specifically designed for kids to construct the model on the front of the box, with the directions also stifling independent thought on the part of the builder. Furthermore, the commercials barely have the presence of a child at all. Faceless fast-motion hands put together a toy that resembles something kids have recently seen in a movie or a cartoon that miraculously comes to life on its own. Capitalistic cross-promotion is at work here, creating a greater disconnect between the builder and the authenticity of what they have assembled.

Play sets have always been a cornerstone of the LEGO brand, but advertisements for the older ones reveal that those sets, despite their primitive look, had a greater amount of choices for the builder to make. They included more bricks and fewer accessories that added minute details to the models. LEGO’s whole angle was that kids could create a variety of things, with the “and more” exclamation at the end implying a limitless range of possibilities. Kids were prominently on display building and putting their own creations into action, which emphasized their unique ownership of the toy they produced, something that was echoed in their print ads of three decades ago that also projected the pride a child would experience in playing with LEGO bricks.

Print advertisements for the LEGO company that are produced in other countries uncover the notion that this is in fact an American phenomenon, with a Norwegian picture of a tremendous tipped over bucket of LEGO bricks (not a sleek boxed set) that have the capability of being turned into a dragon and British ads that see the company still holding true to their traditional message that LEGO bricks can be imaginatively assembled into anything.

The LEGO website also does little to promote creativity in young people, which the company says is their mission. More specific boxed sets are conspicuous throughout the site and there is a concerted effort to promote LEGO video games as opposed to their Design byMe program, which will cease to take orders on January 16, 2012. Video games offer no means for a child to produce something and were pointed to in that Newsweek piece as a possible reason for America’s recent decline in creativity. The Design byMe idea seems to spur creativity by allowing the website’s users to draft their own LEGO toy and have the needed bricks shipped right to them, but this requires complicated downloadable software. The revamped version of this has yet to be launched, with the current alternative being that a kid can still upload a picture of an original digital LEGO creation (given that they can figure out how to use the software), put it in a gallery for the world to see, like Flickr, and then order the individual bricks that they think they might need for it through LEGO’s Pick A Brick service, which is typically used as a resource to find bricks that have gone missing. Going to the LEGO store or, hell, hitting the website to buy a prepackaged Harry Potter knight bus seems like it might be a bit easier though.

If all of that wasn’t bad enough, Lincoln Logs seemed to have followed suit, but, fortunately, there are still TinkerToys to be had in their traditional packaging, although they are apparently an incredible risk to children because of a severe choking hazard.

Newsweek points out that school curriculum makers and teachers who have been forced for decades to “teach to the test” are part of the problem too as they stand side-by-side with video game producers watching American children have their creative breath withdrawn from them. The LEGO Company has either unknowingly participated in this setback as well, tapped into the trend in order to profit, or both. Perhaps a LEGO reality show race between the best brick builders in Jersey is in order.

For Natalie Ray and Patrick Harris and his Albuquerque Isotopes

Beginning to make his rounds on Internet blogs, Michael Stahl is on a mission to alter your perception of stuff. Be it the world of entertainment, sports, culture, or society as a whole, read him only with an open mind, or harm yourself trying. Check out his film and television “counter-criticism” blog Walter Peck Was Just Doing His Job. With whatever energy you have left, consume his interviews for IntellectualTimes.com, STAHLing for Time. He has marked his territory on MindBombed.com and now is proud to leave an imprint upon Sugar-N-Thunder.com.

in times of chaos, creativity reigns.

it’s the rawness and purity in the primal outreach of your soul. it is this that will heal you – the release.

expression without pretense.

is it art for art’s sake?

rather – art for your sake – which is inextricably linked to all our sakes.

feed your spirit with openness and expression – and the outer and inner worlds will respond in kind.

if it’s one thing we should take with us through 2012 – it’s to listen to the silence between the walls of our heart, the space inside our veins -

what is calling to you when you take the time to listen?

POTENTIAL - of the infinite variety.. the kind that allows you to do anything you want, at any moment.

everything else is noise.

this year – break all the rules, theirs and yours alike.

take the leap – because wings you never knew you had will keep you floating.

there is just no other way.

- da leopard

this is something i’ve been wanting to post on SNT for a long while, and hopefully you’ll see more of this chap in some capacity.. but either way, meet STEVE DUNCAN of UNDERCITY!

queensboro bridge, view toward queens – 2006

knickerbocker avenue extension sewer, brooklyn, NYC – 2007

steve pretty much does all those things we wish we had the balls to do. he’s an amazing photog who explores cities around the world in ways that would probably give traditional tourists nightmares – he scales bridges, goes spelunking in sewers, traverses tunnels, and creeps through caves:

As an urban historian & photographer, I try to peel back the layers of a city to see what’s underneath. From the tops of bridges to the depths of sewer tunnels, these explorations of the urban environment help me puzzle together the interconnected, multi-dimensional history and complexity of the great metropolises of the world.

you can see his absolutely stunning photography work here, featuring explorations that range from the NYC subway to WII bunkers in berlin to mills, mines, and brewery caves in the twin cities. he even sells some of his prints online.

however what really got me hooked on steve’s work was this NY times article chronicling his underground NYC explorations with norwegian adventurer erling kagge, and this incredible video shot by andrew wonder that gives you a little taste of what it’s really like to be there. check it out and tell me you don’t thank your lucky stars for modern-day explorers documenting these things that most of us would never, ever get to see.

there is beauty and wonder where you least expect it…

- da leopard

GLORIOUS does not even begin to describe this.. i wish i could live in this video. 80s FUNK IS THE BEST. if i had to listen to that and disco for the rest of my life.. i would probably be okay.* probably with little to no function left in my limbs from eternally dancing, but probably OKAY.

(*i am reminded that i cannot live without QUEEN or the giraffes or electric six, so scratch that.. but the sentiment is there.)

lakeside had a #1 hit in 1980 with this ridiculous(ly AMAZING) track, “FANNNTASTIC VOYAGE!” it’s just the perfect visual translation of how music like this makes me feel. BEHOLD. everyone is HAPPY. and OUTRAGEOUS. and a PIRATE.

i would like all of 2012 to feel like this, thank you. it’s a longshot but – hey, anything can happen.

there is nothing else i wanted to say after the jump.

i just wanted to put some secret stuff here, so..

SECRET STUFF

- da leopard

Fear Eats The Seoul NYC/USA premiere at eGarage in LIC, NY – 12/3/11

It’s just a few days into the new year and NJ has just kicked off his KICKSTARTER campaign for Fear Eats The Seoul. He’s raising much-needed funds to submit the movie to film festivals this year, which will secure audiences it otherwise won’t have the chance to have. Support indie film and the chance we ALL have to realize our dreams. Every little bit counts and besides, there are some awesome rewards including the as-yet-elusive DVD of the film!!!

Click the image above or RIGHT HERE to jump to the Kickstarter page, watch the video, and read all about it.

GOOD LUCK, NJ! SNT is right there with you, burning bright.

- da leopard

A Blessay by Michael Stahl

Yeah I’m a Mets fan, so you can try to discount this entire piece as orange and blue propaganda. I don’t care. Living in New York City, I’m exposed to an over-abundance of positive Yankee press and the Mets deserve to have someone be bombastic in their name for a change.

I fell in love with the Mets in 1985, and ’86, obviously, validated my admiration for them. Mets pride though has eluded me, and the rest of their fans, ever since. Unless we count Endy Chavez’s catch in a losing effort against the Cardinals or Jose Reyes’ cowardly bunt single in the first inning of the last game of this past season which helped award him the batting title as outstanding achievements, there hasn’t been much to pound our chests over. Therefore, the 1986 World Series Champs team remain the darlings of the Mets fan base who are under the age of about 50.

Keith Hernandez, arguably the most valuable player of that team, found himself on the ballot again for induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2011, this time with the Veterans Committee granting him consideration. He failed to gain the necessary votes, but year in and year out, it continues to baffle me as to why he is not a Hall of Famer. For so many reasons, Hernandez should be inducted, giving the diehards something to cheer about.

The Numbers:

When stacked up against other Hall of Fame first basemen, Keith Hernandez’s offensive numbers, though not face-melting, are respectable. He has more hits, home runs, runs scored, and a higher batting average than five of the eighteen who are already in the Hall and bests half of them in the highly regarded category of on-base percentage. Many argue that because he was a first baseman and not a prolific power threat, which is to be expected from that position, Hernandez’s accomplishments fall short. However, anybody who knows a shitball about the history of first base is aware of the fact that Keith holds the record for Gold Gloves there, 11, all of which were won consecutively. It was his defense that had the biggest impact. To that, critics will point out that only middle-infield players should be voted in solely based on defense, like Ozzie Smith and Bill Mazeroski, because a lack of offensive production from those spots is outweighed by the benefits of having speedy, agile, skilled glove-men present there. But if there isn’t room in the Hall of Fame for the greatest defensive first baseman of all time, then how can defense be considered part of the criteria at all?

Other Honors:

Keith Hernandez won a batting title and the National League MVP in 1979. In 1982 he won the World Series with the Cardinals, knocking in eight runs in the seven games. 1986 brought him a second championship ring and he was the Mets’ unquestioned leader. Keith was an all star five times, won the Silver Slugger twice (but was not an offensive threat…), and finished second in the MVP voting in 1984.

His Mustache:

I’ll just give you Reggie Jackson, Rollie Fingers, and Goose Gossage. All in the Hall of Fame. All have amazing mustaches. Keith’s is right there with ‘em.

His Reputation:

There are a bunch of clichés that get thrown around when talking baseball. Many of these attempt to quantify a player’s “intangible” value – all of which somehow apply to Derek Jeter. One will muse: “You need to see him play every day to really understand how important he is to the Yankees.” People will constantly say that Jeter is “clutch” and “a leader in the clubhouse.” Then there’s the fact that he “does things that don’t show up in the box score.” God doesn’t get as much printed praise as what is bestowed upon the current Yankees captain.

Anyway, considering Derek Jeter will undoubtedly get into the Hall of Fame one day, at least partially based on this reputation built on innumerable ambiguous compliments, it is fair to argue that Keith should have his face emblazoned in bronze too if all of these things could describe him as well. He was the Mets captain in 1987, having earned that title after years of leading the team, culminating with that championship the year before. After making three diving catches throughout the course of Game 6 of the ’86 NLCS that don’t show up in the box score, he famously told Jesse Orosco on the mound that if Orosco threw Kevin Bass a fastball, he’d punch Orosco out. Bass became the last batter of the game, striking out on an Orosco curve. Now that’s leadership. Everybody remembers “The Buckner Game” in the subsequent World Series (Keith was drinking beers in the clubhouse when the error happened), but it was in the game after that, when the Mets needed yet another win to capture the title, that Keith Hernandez delivered a pivotal base hit that got the Mets’ scoring going. That’s clutch. And his daily quality defense at first base changed the way the position was played.

“But Jeter does it with class!” you might say between chomps on a slice of Ray’s Famous. First of all, I don’t think he has as much class as many claim. And admittedly, Keith may not win awards for exuding refined character, but who gives a shit about that? Certainly not the voters for the Baseball Hall of Fame. Babe Ruth was known to be a heavy drinker and often cheated on his wife (check out p. 162). Mickey Mantle basically drank himself to death. And Ty Cobb was a well-documented racist and hated by his teammates. All of them are in the Hall of Fame. Sure Keith had his run-ins with Cardinals management and had to testify about his cocaine use in the ’70s and ’80s, but at least he admitted it. And who had money about them in those two wholesome American decades and didn’t do coke?

And last, but certainly not least, his lowbrow and despicable Two-Episode “Seinfeld” appearance:

and this:

In Conclusion:

In recent years, players like Jim Rice, Andre Dawson, and Bert Blyleven have been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame after spending quite some time on the ballot. Many argue that these men are finally getting their due respect because the steroid era has fizzled. Steroid-fueled statistics dwarfed those of the clean players who preceded the beefy monsters that dominated the game for nearly two decades. With that in mind, and all the rest, I hope that when I make my first visit to Cooperstown’s Baseball Hall of Fame museum, I’ll get to see Keith Hernandez’s plaque raised next to all of the other greats who exhibited either stellar or unsavory character. And if not, there’s always the broadcast wing…

Beginning to make his rounds on Internet blogs, Michael Stahl is on a mission to alter your perception of stuff. Be it the world of entertainment, sports, culture, or society as a whole, read him only with an open mind, or harm yourself trying. Check out his film and television “counter-criticism” blog Walter Peck Was Just Doing His Job. With whatever energy you have left, consume his interviews for IntellectualTimes.com, STAHLing for Time. He has marked his territory on MindBombed.com and now is proud to leave an imprint upon Sugar-N-Thunder.com.

Introducing the next candidate to fill out SUGAR -N- THUNDER’s New World Order Employment Application: WILLIAM RUBEN HELMS!

Sometimes in life you encounter people equipped with the kind of raw dedication that pushes them to live, eat, breathe, and sleep what they love to do - they do it at all costs and at no half-measures. They work harder, stay out later, pump the music louder, and capture all the moments that others miss. When it comes to documenting music of all types in NYC and beyond with an intensity and literary flair all his own, William Ruben Helms is that person. This sharp and ever-personable Corona, Queens-based writer, photographer, and editor knows few limits when it comes to his craft (and having a debaucherous good time..!) and has published articles, reviews, and photos in myriad publications including New York Magazine‘s Vulture Blog, The New York Press, and WNYC’s Shots You’ve Shot blog. His claim to blogosphere fame almost two years ago was the founding of his own music and photography site – The Joy of Violent Movement, which has claimed readers in the UK, Germany, Israel, Canada, France, Japan and 24 other countries since its arrival on the ‘net.

Who I am & what I do:

I’m a music journalist, music blogger, photographer, freelance writer, troublemaker, soldier of love, unrepentant badass, and generally a master of several trades.

Projects you should know about:
My music and photography blog, The Joy of Violent Movement (also on Facebook).

Here’s some samples of his work [click to enlarge]:

The Survey:

1. What defines awesomeness to you? If you’re familiar with any literary criticism on Shakespeare’s Hamlet, almost every critic (and professor for that matter) will refer to Polonius as a fool, a buffoon, a windbag, a total fucking bore. They’ll tell you too that he’s a joke and that practically everything he says should be viewed with ridicule and suspicion but he offers some of the wisest and most difficult advice to his son Laertes: “To thine own self be true.” We modern folk view such a statement as a cliche – I mean you’ve probably heard someone say something along those lines at least 20 times a day. But if you really give it some thought, you’ll probably realize how difficult it really is to be yourself, to be that person that the Divine (or God, or the Infinite or whatever you prefer to call it) made you. Biologically speaking let’s put it this way, unless you’re someone’s identical twin, for you to come out exactly how you are is a one in about 70 trillion chance. In most cases, there will never be anyone exactly like you. If someone doesn’t or just can’t accept you for everything you’re about, it’s probably one of the worst personal insults of this life. And by far, the greatest and most unforgivable sin is for any individual to not be the only self that you’re supposed to be. Think about that when there are so many external pressures to conform, to blindly follow along, to be and do things that you’re not or don’t fucking care about. I think it takes a lot of courage to say (even if it’s mentally) “Fuck this! I need to be me and I need to be me at all costs.” So anyone authentically themselves are pretty awesome.

Dive bars are always awesome. In fact, I’m drawn to the lurid, the profane and the sleazy.

Getting up every day and realizing that you do something you love, is both lucky and awesome. I’ve had plenty of jobs that I’ve hated with every fiber of my being and I can tell you that there are far more people who do things that they loathe because someone pressured them into it or they need the money and can’t figure out what to do with their time.

A perfectly poured pint of Guinness and a Romeo Y Julieta cigar or two are awesome.

2. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Actually, I’ve had a couple. Back when I was in high school, I dated this very lovely young woman, who was my first love. When we split up, I took it badly – there were other things going on in my life, and it kind of felt like my entire life was falling apart at the seams. And of course, when you’re a teenager, you’re pretty melodramatic – everything is pretty much the end of the world. I fell into a deep, suicidal depression. One day, I decided that I was going to kill myself. I had felt weary and had enough. So I decided that I was going to throw myself in front of a car. It wasn’t a well thought out plan – I mean, it didn’t enter my mind that the driver being scared shitless may avoid trying to hit me, that maybe I’d miscalculate or misjudge something. Nor did it enter my mind that I might be scared or that I might want to continue living. In any case, I tried to jump out in front of this car and I guess there’s a part of me that (thankfully) hesitated and I narrowly missed getting hit by this car.

I’ve also nearly drowned a couple of times.

3. If you could be absolute ruler of the world for a day, what’s the first thing you’d do? I’d ban anyone from trying to sing Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston or Stevie Wonder while on American Idol or Glee. I’d eliminate student debt up to $40,000. And most importantly, I’d legalize weed and most other drugs, excluding crack and crystal meth, as well as gambling and prostitution.

4. What’s your guilty pleasure? I honestly have a lot of guilty pleasures – I happen to enjoy vices, lots and lots of vices. With that in mind we’ll talk about guilty pleasures, and they include: Guinness (by the tap and only by the tap), Romeo Y Julieta cigars, gambling, fast food, women, porn, The Maury Povich Show, Jerry Springer, dirty South rap, women, coveting others’ property, wives and girlfriends, photography, modernist and post-modernist literary fiction, books on theoretical physics, Buddhism, the New York Yankees, the New York Giants, the New York Rangers, dive bars (the sleazier, the better) and well – I’m quite proud of being a depraved person with tons of terrible habits.

5. What do you know now that you wish you knew as a teen/kid? That being an adult is really pretty fucking awesome, actually. Just having the ability to do what I want and to tell people to fuck off, is a great thing.

6. What’s the most awesome concert you’ve ever been to, and why? As a music blogger and journalist, I wind up going to a lot of shows (as of last count, I’m pretty sure it’s like 90 in 2011, alone), but I can give you a few examples of some awesome concerts and awesome experiences – in random but short order:

Being in the photographer’s pit at the Gramercy Theatre for Atari Teenage Riot. I was literally inches away from the band, snapping some really great photos of them in action. They’re all incredibly expressive, energetic and they look pretty fucking cool. They had an incredible, furious energy – you wanted to go and fuck shit up and go out and get it right.

I’ve become a big fan of this jazz fusion band from Asheville, North Carolina called the Jonathan Scales Fourchestra. There’s a difference between really talented jazz bands and hacks, and I think it boils down to one simple thing: how well the musicians can improvise and play with their material. Those musicians who are really talented make it seem like an extended conversation – there’s this give and take among people who seem completely at ease and on the same exact page. Catching that live is something very special.

Some years ago, I was covering a show at Williamsburg’s Death by Audio for New York Magazine‘s Vulture Blog. It was this show full of raging, yelling, insanely loud techno with huge drum beats that felt like a kick in the stomach. At one point during their set, the DJ duo Blondes DJs started lighting money on fire. I walked out of there by the end of the night with that sense that I saw something and heard something I hadn’t heard or seen before.

I caught this local punk band Cerebral Ballzy twice: once at the Shank and the other at the CMJ/Afro-Punk Showcase. They’re frankly not the most talented musicians in the world, but they play the old-fashioned New York hardcore punk that I used to catch at the Continental and Coney Island High, well over a decade ago. The current Shank (there was one other, secretly located somewhere in Brooklyn that the City shut down) was apparently set up in an abandoned trucking dock/garage sort of deal. It was filthy and illicit; there was this thrilling sense of anything goes danger. Like the old school punk shows, a couple of people walked out bloodied and bruised. I spoke to a girl who got punched in the face in the moshpit. Beer cans were flung back and forth. I saw a guy climb up on the rickety PA system – the thing was swaying as he was climbing it – and he stage dove, right over my head and into the crowd! It was out of control and a lot of fun.

The CMJ showcase had the Jersey Klan, Ninjasonik, Cerebral Ballzy and this old school Detroit band, Death. I got doused in beer, the crowd was moshing like something crazy – it was incredible to see. (Also it was my first CMJ and I hope that there will be more.)

I’m a big fan of the Church, the Verve and Echo and the Bunnymen, and seeing all three of them live were great – they played all of my favorite songs and if you’re a fan, that’s honestly like a thrill of a lifetime.

I can think of tons more but I’m probably blabbing and bullshitting way too much for your readers.

7. Tell us a quote/phrase/lyric that sums you up. I think of a particular quote from the Tao Te Ching:

I, alone, am as fresh as the morning air, as pure as a babe in its mother’s arms, as free as a homeless wanderer. Other people are admired and envied for their cleverness; I alone am neglected. Am I (because of this) foolish at heart? No! Let them be as smart and aggressive as ever; I am content to remain retiring and obscure. Let them continue to be as sensible and prudent as ever; Let me remain as neglected as a deaf-mute. Nevertheless, I am pure as the water in the ocean and as free as the driftwood upon its bosom. Let others have their ways of acquiring wealth, I am content to be counted foolish and inefficient. I seem to stand in contrast to common people, empty and foolish, but I am nourished by food from Mother Tao.

8. What’s the worst film/best film you’ve seen? One of the worst films I’ve seen is Roger Corman’s adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s Fall of the House of Usher. Vincent Price chews up scenery, overacts – he’s hilarious. They have some actress who’s supposed to be his sister and the other male lead’s love interest, and she’s a beautiful block of wood. It’s a weird, eerie, acid-influenced piece of crap that’s more laughable than scary.

9. If I was in a freak show I’d be…
a. contortionist
b. sword swallower
c. fire-eater
d. where I belong, duh.

I’d go with e – master of ceremonies.

10. It’s 2012, for f@&*(!’s sake. Where’s my ___?
a. flying car
b. 10-foot microwave
c. sex robot
d. hoverboard
e. colony on mars
f. vibrating calculator

How about my flying hoverboard, sex robot and vibrating calculator that can take me to the Martian colony?

*BONUS* What cartoon or TV show do you wish you could put back on air? The A-Team. The only problem with that is that they’d need to clone George Peppard since he’s been dead for twenty some odd years. But I’m sure modern technology can figure that one out for us. Until then, you all need to check out the episode with Rick James and Isaac Hayes.

*SUPER BONUS* Make up a name for a new sex act/position. Go! I can think of a couple: the flip flop, the dirty south and sanchize. You really don’t want to know what they actually involve!

William, thanks for being AWESOME!

And look out for future New World Order Employment Applications rolling out SOON…

[questions by captain whiptastic & audrey leopard; compiled by audrey leopard]

one of the (many) things we’re grateful for is knowing so many super talented and creative people, musicians included!

you’ll most likely end up seeing longer posts on each of these artists at a later date on SNT, but for now – THE MUSIC! here’s a few of our awesome friends and their tracks you should definitely check out:

PAT IRWIN needs no introduction. he’s one of the coolest and most chill people we’ve ever met AND not only did he play with the legendary B-52s for many years, but he also composed the music for one of our favorite cartoons EVER – rocko’s modern life!!! pat also has a bunch of original music he produces (some of which is available on his website). the “new sounds from the lost & found” series features pat writing music with salvaged instruments and a vintage yamaha organ he found in the street in NYC! like him on FB here.

PROFESSOR KLIQ is a wild young chicago-based musician with an insanely deep take on electronic music. he’s also all about creative commons (and is spearheading the columbia commons project), so everything he does is up for grabs on the internet, ALL! THE! TIME! this track will blow your face off. check out the rest of his work HERE, and like him on FB here.

DIRTY THIRTY-TWO is comprised of the aforementioned PROFESSOR KLIQ and fellow chicago electronic musician RAMOVA. they’re insane and recently collaborated on a series of four tracks they’re calling the “SATBEP.” this is one of them – just NUTS.

FACEDYE is all about electro-acoustic trippiness with poetic lyrics to FEED YOUR HEAD, man! and your heart. dmitriy rocks and we’re really glad he’s pushing his music out to the masses! like him on FB here.

and finally THE YES TEAM - who base their music and lifestyle around the most affirmative word in the english language: YES!!! they say yes to all the experiences life has to offer, and write crazy catchy songs to express it. they have such a beautiful energy and it doesn’t take long to recognize musical soulmates when you see ‘em. personally i’m excited to hear old friend TJ moss (formerly of astoria’s TJ moss band!) doing what he does best. this song is fantastic and definitely a great message to hang onto in the coming new year… like them on FB here.

AWESOME!

- da leopard