What the Goddamn Hell!!!: Salad Fingers

23 02 2008

Salad fingers!!! I could never completely describe how much this disturbs me. I’ve seen people trampled, shot and crushed to death in videos. Personally i have witnessed more teeth pulled and exposed jaw bones then i had ever planned on, but nothing has ever gotten to me more than this flash series called Salad Fingers…

Just to get you going, you got your standard scary ass LSD trippy music (i’ll always give that a thumbs up) and ever changing swirling background animation. By his appearance alone Salad Fingers isn’t too bad. It’s the Voice!!! The Damn Voice!! He sounds like a whispering English female pedophile. (oh, and it’s damn creepy when he licks his lips.. you get a nice up close shot… it’s fucken wrong!)

The story has only one solid point. Following Salad Fingers through a day in his world where he finds interest in only the most obscure things and secondary characters can only grunt out nightmarish sounds. Everything in his life disregards logic to the fullest extent.

Some of his friends: Hubert Cumberdale, Marjory Stewart-Baxter, Jeremy Fisher (they’re fucken finger puppets!!! except Hubert Cumberdale who shows up randomly in a more human form)

Some of his interests: rust, when the red stuff flows, France, marrying gorgeous taps.

- Captain

P.S. Just watch

Is your mind completely fucked yet??? if not, watch more.

Hear ye, hear ye! It has recently come to my attention that Salad Fingers may be a girl. This i severely disagree with. If you disagree with me… well… i really don’t care.


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the giraffes on fearless music tv

23 02 2008

oh shit! they already have the video up!!!!!!!!!

check THIS out!!

- audrey

edit/

SWEET.. somebody recorded the giraffes’ whole set @ mercury lounge on 5/11/07!!

drew: i will feed anybody my vanilla buckshot right now! tadpole broth, anyone?

.. their in-between song banter is especially ADORABLE. =P hahahha too good..


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ahahaha: the giraffes & beyond race mag

22 02 2008

this is worth mentioning.

i don’t even know how long this has been up, but it reminds me yet again how much i love the giraffes. the sound is crazy because the venue was a SHITBOX (emphasis on the BOX.. the drumset couldn’t even fit on the “stage”!), but if anything, watch the interview at the end at 5:09 – it’s nothing short of PRICELESS (“i’ll punch snuffalufagus in the clit”). and let’s just say that the cap and i were two of the four to get ejected from the venue ;D

it was the week of the CMJ festival in which we sandwiched a night kills the day show in between two from the giraffes, the last being the “beyond race magazine” fall launch party (..what?) in this ridiculously TINY wannabe socialite/hipster-filled crapshack called the rockwood music hall (HALL????????????????). seriously, avoid it like the plague if you can. i really have no idea how so many tightwads got shoved into such a small space all at once, but long story short – it has been a longtime custom to throw beer at a giraffes show (although the gimmick has now run its course). i was particularly edgy because people were actually sitting at TABLES being completely hoity-toity while the giraffes were rocking out (let’s just say i don’t fare well in situations such as these..), so after the lead singer spewed a shot into the air, i grabbed a beer bottle from the table in front of me and splashed a little towards the stage. next thing i knew, my arm was seized by the BIG burly fellow gorilla looking out for punks like me (gasp!) and despite my efforts to resist (“you have to leave.” *pulls me towards him* “…NO!!!!” *pulls away* hahah), i got muscled out. i was BEYOND pissed off.. and watched the rest of the show through the plate glass window by hoisting myself up on the top bar of the scaffolding in front of the venue, with my feet dangling in the air.. like a lunatic.

ONWARD! »»


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um.. whoa: MSI & the birthday massacre

20 02 2008

so mindless self indulgence is teaming up with the birthday massacre on tour.. and now they’re releasing yet another little cd of remixes in march for the massive consumption of the mindless public. the single to be remixed: “never wanted to dance” ? eep.. take a listen on MSI’s myspace – it’s not the actual single, but the birthday massacre remixed it. i got a little scared upon listening to the first few (sparkly) seconds, but i don’t know – it’s fast, it’s a little schizo, it even has double bass blasts!! whatttt. girly background vocals by.. a girl? hm. jimmy’s singing about dancing! hella heavily. and.. i actually really like this. do i??! do i!?!??!!

i really didn’t expect to like this track as much as i do. i guess it sounds.. different. the other teaser tracks they’ve been posting haven’t really caught my attention, and sometimes i feel like we’ve reached a point with MSI where you can’t hope for massive awesomeness, as much as you want to, because you might be slapped in the face with another remix cd or another idiotic networking site overloaded with bloodthirsty scene kids or another ridiculously overpriced tour with bands it once seemed they wouldn’t share a stage with. they’re insanely whoring the shit out of the internet, but i guess.. being completely tongue in cheek and pulling all of these bullshit stunts is what MSI have always been about, and we’ve always supported because they delivered – the music was undeniably and incomparably BADASS in a way that has solidified the band in a class of their own, no matter what they produce in the future, but also because – it was fucking funny to see how far they could take their joke.

so now there’s the birthday massacre.. they’ve got bunnies.. and purple.. electro-gothy-prettiness.. and a tatted, raven-haired girl in pigtails with a punky-lolita fashion sense singing the vox! sweet ….. ???? semi-undecided. this reminds me of when i first got into evanescence! aww.. way back when in 2003. but anyway.. yeah. “never wanted to dance.” MSI are trekking around the globe and pacifying us with the remixes before their new full-length album, “if,” drops in april of this year.

check the lyrics: “never wanted to dance with nobody but you, never wanted to dance with nobody but you, never wanted to dance with nobody but you, i wouldn’t take no for an answer.. you fucking BITCH!” okay, now i really like this.

you bastards. rape and pillage the fans and then have a band with purple bunnies remix your song about DANCING – and do it WELL.

.. you’re lucky because dancing and double bass blasts and psychojimmyvocals just happen to be just a few of my weaknesses =P ;D the ball is in your court, MSI!

- audrey


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night kills the day & ghost front @ knitting factory, 2/17/08

20 02 2008

by audrey.

the captain & i had never been to the knitting factory (74 leonard street, NYC) before. one of our favorite local bands, brooklyn’s night kills the day was opening for fair to midland on sunday the 17th, so of course we had to be there. little did we know that by the end of the night we’d be (literally) locked inside the venue bullshitting at the downstairs bar with a small group of quite obviously interesting characters that included a friend of ours who just happened to be in attendance – and also the lead singer of our other favorite brooklyn band.. but that’s another story. ;D

there was a good crowd packed into the black box that makes up what seemed to be the factory’s main stage. we were second from the edge of the stage, and ghost front was up first – a brooklyn duo comprised of drums and guitar with vocals. i dug their sound, especially since they were only two guys with two instruments and voice – i liked their lyrics (somehow “i don’t know what’s going on” set to upbeat music seems so lighthearted and honest..), the beat of their songs, the tempo changes and contrasts of loud and soft, and of course that the lead singer’s voice kind of reminded me of police-era sting at some points (!!!). in any case, i was definitely swaying the whole time, and grinning especially when i caught a smile exchanged between the two musicians onstage, which always gets me to thinking – why isn’t the rest of the crowd moving?

i know, i know – you’re tired of standing up and you’re impatiently waiting to see YOUR band, but really – how can you be watching human beings playing music right in front of you and NOT be moving? i was watching the crowd and there were more than just a few people staring up at ghost front like they were blankly watching a TV screen. how can you call yourself a music fan if you don’t MOVE to the music, or want to experience new kinds of music from a band you’ve never heard before? i don’t know.. at least for me, it comes down to realizing that, aside from buying YOUR ticket and waiting for YOUR band, there are other people – actual living, breathing, feeling people – who have come to play their music for you. they’re getting up there in front of complete strangers and showing you their work – how would you feel if you were up there and you were playing in front of a crowd of crossed arms or blank stares, people standing completely motionless while you play? they’re humans, not a TV show. this situation can obviously be altered by many factors, ie. if the band is blatantly rude to the audience, or is absolutely terrible and seem like they really don’t care about what they’re doing, but really, in general.. look alive, people. you’re at a rock show!

but i digress. (i’ve always wanted to say that..)

ONWARD! »»


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it’s showtime!

20 02 2008

yo yo,

if all goes well, this will be a fun project (!!!!!!!!!!).

hi, we’re audrey and eric - i mean captain. we LOVE music and we love going to shows, and as the tagline reads, we have too much energy and nowhere to put it.. so i suppose we’re going to take a crack at this blog WORDPRESS thing. shall we?! we shall.


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